Becoming a Mommy

For my son's birthday last fall, I wrote the following note regarding my transformation fromWife to Mother.

To say that I did not want to have children is an understatement.

I NEVER pictured my life with them. Sitting at a wedding a few weeks before my own, I leaned over during the vows and told Eric, “Don’t you mention anything about kids at our wedding, ‘cause we ain’t having any!” I even researched the surgery procedure, but it was too expensive and impossible to find a Doctor to perform it on a 21-year-old virgin.

When the Pastors showed resistance to marrying us if I was serious, I said that I would eventually have to have children if Eric wanted them, but in my heart, I had no intention of fulfilling that promise.

Why not?

Mostly selfish and partly valid, I had a long list of reasons:

• I was a Kindergarten teacher and had been involved with children all my life. I believed dealing with children was my calling, not my life. I loved children; I just didn’t want to bring any of them home.


• Why would anyone in their right mind complicate their lives with children?

• They take all your money and your freedom.

• You have to hire a sitter every time you want to do something.

• They are a life-long responsibility.


• You have to do everything for them.


• How could I bring more children into this world when there are so many here already that are not being cared for?


• What if I bring children to this world and they walk away from faith and values only to lose their souls? I would never forgive myself.

I’ll never forget the drive up to St. Augustine for our 2nd anniversary. Eric briefly brought it up and I told him to try again in three years. “When we’ve been married for five years, we can talk about possibly having children in the next ten years,” I said sarcastically. I intended to keep stalling until it went away. My wise husband just bit his tongue as I berated the idea. Yet, that very weekend, God took over my 5-year plan.

When I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later, my world collapsed. I thought God was playing a sick joke on me. I was angry with God and livid with my husband. Horrible shameful thoughts tormented me every single day. At the same time, I knew I was stuck and I needed to figure out how to make the best out of it.

We refrained from telling people because I felt bad that others were excited for us. “Didn’t they know my life just got ruined?” I was a wreck! Our finances were a mess and I did not want to give up my career, which was going pretty good.

Then one morning, I woke up spotting. All of a sudden something within me was awakened and I wanted that baby more than anything in the world. I cried out to God, “I was just kidding! Please don’t take my baby!” Of course, His plan was not to take him.

The next few months were the most life-changing of all. Eric and I worked hard to get our finances in order and to prepare as best we could. I bid farewell to my career and embraced my new ‘normal.’

On November 22, 2007, Joakim was born. The doctor sat me up, had me pull him out and placed him in my arms. What an incredible bond we had! The sweetest, most amazing baby ever. When I saw his face, I was filled with peace. I knew we were going to be ok.

It’s been quite the journey since then. Every day is not perfect; but every day I am equipped to handle whatever comes my way. I love my life as a mommy and can’t imagine it any other way. I realize now that I was afraid and insecure because I did not trust God. Once God called me out of the boat, I had no choice but to trust Him and walk on the water or I would have surely drowned.

Today, nothing makes me more excited than the thought of

my children yet to be born. I get giddy just thinking of the gifts God is preparing to give to the world through me. I look at my family and know without a doubt that being a mommy to many was one of God’s callings for my life.

I am certain of it when I see my Dad snuggled up with little Zia during worship Sunday mornings.
I am certain of it when I hear Joa scream “Daddy’s home!” every afternoon.
I am certain of it when I laugh until I cry during family tickle fights.

So, on his 2nd birthday I’d like to thank my Joakim for making me a Mommy. You truly have been my greatest teacher. You have taught me more about God in these last two years than I knew my entire life. I am so thankful that God interrupted my 5-year plan and surprised me with you.

I love you!

Today, as I celebrate my daughter's first birthday, I am equally grateful for her role in my life. My life is complete in Christ Jesus, but these little gifts he's given me are what causes me to overflow with joy.

I'd love to hear about your transformation into motherhood. Please share!

Party Exploration

I love that as a mom I get to wear so many different hats, which I prefer to call to 'heels.'

We have so many shoes to fill: teacher, nurse, maid, chef, chauffeur, etc...

One of my favorites is the party planner role. We can't escape it! Whether you love to host big, elaborate parties or you just have the family over for a meal to celebrate, there is some planning involved.

I am absolutely passionate about parties. I love getting together with friends and family in a beautiful setting.

I thought it would be fun to bring you along as I plan my son's 3rd Birthday coming up in November. Follow my daily tweets so you can stay up to date on the idea brainstorming, crafting, designing, menu planning, and budgeting.

I think we could all get some insight from watching the process unfold.

To bring you up to speed:

I originally wanted to do a Rock Star theme (which I had already fully developed in my brain), because my son LOVES music, but when I asked him, he actually said no. I started to ignore him since he is only 2 and will probably change his mind as many times as I ask him, but the little guy has stuck to a theme request like glue.

His wish: A blue and green Super Why! Birthday with cupcakes.

Easy enough. Now, let's make it happen.

I've already come up with a few ideas and drawings, which I will share in the next few posts, but I'd love to hear from YOU!

If you have ideas, or if you find any sales, please share!!!!

*TuTuLu*

The Observant Child

Sometimes, it really bothers me that my son acts different outside of the home than he does when it's just us.

At the store, he smiles and greets every stranger we meet, but when I take him on play dates, he often acts serious and reserved.

I smile sheepishly and make up some excuse for why he's currently in a funky mood (nap time, woke up late, hungry, tired, etc...)

Most recently, I noticed at church he would simply look around. He wouldn't sing or dance like he does at home. He just watched.

I began to get concerned. Was I doing something wrong as a mommy? Was I not teaching him enough about worship? Is he too easily distracted?

Later in the week, I noticed that whenever I turned on music, immediately he would say "wanna worship?" and run, jump, dance, lift his hands, clap, and sing at the top of his lungs.

I was starting to get annoyed, then I GOT it!

How often do adults perfect the art of looking good on the outside. We are proficient at acting the right way when others are watching. In reality, what matters most is what we do when no one is watching.

My little guy is getting this. Like his daddy, he studies things and takes them in. He learns by observing and isn't concerned about pleasing an audience.

If you have a child who is an observer, give them the freedom to absorb their surroundings without putting pressure on them to perform. You'll be amazed at how much they're learning!

Instead of trying to change them, perhaps we should be more like them.

*TuTuLu*

Sunshine Party First photos

Here are some of my first photos. Surely, I am a beginner, but I'm still proud of my work. The party was amazing! In the end, it's the people that make the party special...although it never hurts to surround those special people with lots of pretty treats.

More will be coming soon along with the break down of cost, materials, and DIY instructions. I worked long and hard to find sweet deals and keep the cost down. Lucky for you, you'll get all my ideas, plus the lessons I learned for next time.

*TuTuLu*

Sunshine Party Day

Sorry I have been MIA for a while. My baby girl's party is today and I've been working very hard. I'm excited about sharing this day with all our friends and family. I can hardly wait!!!

Of course, photos will be up as soon as we clean up and have the house back to ourselves. We are delighted to host out of town family whom we have not seen in a long time so, first things first. Family time, THEN blogging.

To give you a sneak peek treat...here is the adorable tutu I created for my little princess. PARTY ON!!!

*TuTuLu*

Happy 4th!

To all my readers, family and friends:

Happy 4th of July!!!

Here is a little inspiration from the boutique...

My baby girl is the perfect little model for my Patriotic TuTu Dress in red and white stripes, with a touch of cobalt blue puffs outlining the top. An adorable blue ribbon with white embellishments secures the dress with a bow around her neck.

Two very lucky little girls will be the center of attention this holiday with my flag patterned mini-tutus complete with rhinestone stars.

The baggies with the circle tags were just something I did for fun for the kids in my son's swimming class. Each bag was filled with candy, a noisemaker, a star beaded necklace, a patriotic tattoo, and of course, an American Flag. Thanks to the early 4th of July sale at Michael's, I made these for all the kids for a grand total of $7!!!! I love bargains!

Please be safe this holiday. Keep an eye on little ones around fireworks, even sparklers can cause severe burns. Teach them to STOP, DROP, & ROLL, if their clothes catch on fire and NEVER to run.

*TuTuLu*